Insufferable Know-It-All

There was a knock at the door where a boy was standing with three packages covering most of his upper body with only a bit of red hair sprouting out the top of it.

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smartestone

Hermione put the book down and went to open the door, laughing a little whe she saw the packages and the hair. "Oh, you really shouldn't have," she said, smiling as she let him in.

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"Well... Not all of them are from me," Ron said with a twinge of guilt. "Mom and Gin sent along a couple of things for you too. I expect the one from Mom is a sweater"

He said this as handed over the gift from his mom, which, yes, was a sweater.

Then he noticed the books on the desk. "You haven't spent your birthday studying have you?"

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"Not all of it, just some. And it's interesting," she said, taking a seat on the edge of her bed to open the present from Mrs. Weasley. "Tell them I said thank you, if you speak to them first?"

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"You have a bizarre sense of fun, Hermione," Ron said rolling his eyes and handing her the gift from Ginny. "This one's from Gin. I'll make sure to send them a note back."

Upon opening the package, Hermione would find a book entitled: "Stupid Ignorant Brothers and the Sisters Who Tolerate Them".

And of course once Ron saw the title his ears turned bright red but before he could say anything there was a knock at the door (http://smartestone.livejournal.com/20229.html?thread=294661#t294661).

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Harry had immediately dispatched Hedwig with orders for both Flourish and Blott's and Honeyduke's as soon as he'd gotten Ron's voicemail the night prior. Not that he'd forgotten, of course.

As a result, he was empty-handed when he tapped on Hermione's door, looking contrite.

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smartestone

"It's open!" Hermione called, putting down her book.

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Harry stuck his head in. "Happy birthday!"

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Ron was still somewhat sputtering a bit over Ginny's gift when he noticed that Harry's hands were somewhat empty.

"Harry! You're just in time," Ron said quickly. "Hermione was about to open our gift."

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"Oh! Oh, good," Harry said, shooting Ron a grateful look. "I ordered something from Diagon Alley, too, but turns out London's a bit far."

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"I'll tell you as well, you didn't need to do this," Hermione said, going to open it. "But thank you both."

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"I know you'll like it," Ron said holding his breath slightly and praying Gin hadn't screwed him over.

Turns out she hadn't.

The final book was big, leather bound and entitled "Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration".

Ron let out a sigh of relief.

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"You haven't read it yet, right?" Harry checked, peering at the title.

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"I haven't!" said Hermione, looking thrilled. "I've been wanting to, though! Thank you!"

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"Well Harry and I just figured we'd find the thickest book possible and figured you'd go for it," Ron joked.

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"And...alliteration. Always a good thing!" Harry added lamely.

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"It's perfect," she said, putting the book down and standing to hug them both.

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Ron accepted the hug awkwardly with a pat on the back. "Um. Yes. Happy birthday."

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Harry patted her shoulder just as awkwardly. "You're welcome. Happy birthday."

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Hermione pulled back, still smiling. "I'm just glad you're both here for it," she said.

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"Well someone has to drag you away from your books to get in mortal peril," Ron joked.

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Rikku sat cross-legged on her bed, bouncing. "We should have a party!" she insisted. Probably not for the first time. "We could go to the common room and have music and cake and it would be a blast."

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"I don't need a party, really," Hermione insisted, also probably not for the first time. ~~And her mun's brain would crack right in half.~~ "It really isn't a big deal."

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"It'd be fuuuuun," Rikku bounced, and then sighed. "Okay. No party. You sure you don't wanna ... I dunno. Go to Caritas and send drinks to cute boys? Play music way too loud? Make some prank calls? I have a cell phone now. We could totally use that."

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smartestone

"I'm sure," she smiled. "I don't want to make a huge thing of it. We could go somewhere this week as a post-birthday celebration if that would make you feel better."

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"It's not about making me feel better," she laughed. "I just ... you know. If you're not into celebrating, that's way cool, I just wanna be sure your birthday doesn't get lost in the shuffle or whatever. Besides, your birthday means you have to get up to some mischief. It's like a law."

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Hermione raised her eyebrows. "I've never heard of that law."

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"New law," Rikku said breezily. "Called the Birthday Act of whatever-this-year-is. It specifically says that anybody who doesn't cause some, and I quote, 'minor mayhem' in celebration of their birth will have their large and fascinating history books taken away. Or else hidden somewhere that Crookshanks can puke hairballs on 'em."

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"I don't like that law," Hermione said immediately.

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"I know," Rikku sighed. "It's a mean law, really. But it's policed pretty strictly. And Crookshanks has some ucky hairballs lately. I think you may be stuck."

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"You're being mean to me on my birthday," Hermione pointed out, hugging her book a little.

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"I'm not, really," Rikku said with her best innocent impression. "I'm trying to protect you and your books from the wrath of Crookshanks by getting you to have a little fun. That's totally not mean."

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"I have fun! Books are fun!"

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"I kinda meant the kind of fun that involves talking to other people," Rikku said carefully.

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"I'm talking," Hermione said. "I talk to you, and Ron, and Harry, and I was even in a common room yesterday."

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Ron gave a wave to the bouncing girl. "Hi. I'm Ron. Sorry your roommate tends to be a stick in the mud," he said with a touch of humor in his voice.

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"Hiya! I'm Rikku." She grinned. "And Hermione's way cool, but she'd be a heckuva prankster if she ever let loose a little. But she won't join the naked mutinies."

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Ron blinked. "Hermione? Naked what?"

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"She never told you about the naked mutinies?" Rikku look hurt. "They're, like, an institution! They should be! And it's not like we were totally naked. I mean, I wasn't, right?"

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"Is that a course requirement?" Ron asked looking worried. "And is that for girls only?"

Deadpool's modern feminism class might have thrown Ron for a loop.

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"It's not for class," Rikku said, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. "We got detention for it last time but it was so, so, so worth it. And it's not just for girls, 'cause it was Seely's idea that we should be naked. I mean, not that we all were naked. I totally wasn't. But Seely just stripped like 'oh, hi there, I'm naked!' and then Alec did too and whoa, I mean, I wasn't gonna argue with it, you know!?"

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Ron was doing his best not to look at certain parts of Rikku especially as she bounced around a lot as she talked and WOW were his ears ever going red.

"Yes. Well I suppose that makes sense."

Well not to Ron. He's British you know.

"Um... And Hermione was there for these mutinies?"

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