Room 308, Tuesday evening

[smartestone]

Hermione was studying, which probably came as a surprise to no one. Classes were back in session, she didn't have any evil principals to plot against, and that meant her priorities were blissfully back to normal. So there she was, at her desk, with a book on mathematical theory and knitting needles spelled nearby to make some more hats for the Hogwarts elves. She was sure Ginny would distribute them if she asked.

[Door and post, both open. Plz distract the bookworm.]

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[smartestone]

Hermione turned around in her chair, waving him in. "It is! But I know you're lying. Hello anyway, Harry."

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"What is it?" he wondered, wandering in and looking around. "Hey, look, I'm in your room and there're no stairs to be chucked down or anything."

[smartestone]

"Mathematical theory. I don't think I did as well on the placement test as I would have liked," she explained. "And oh, I almost forgot about that. A lot of the students here live boy/girl in the rooms, so it's probably more convenient that they don't get thrown down the stairs for it."

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"...boy/girl? Really? And I got stuck with him?"

[smartestone]

"Your roommate's that bad?" Hermione asked.

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"It's like living with Dudley, only Dudley looks like he works out all the time."

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Hermione frowned and said, "If it's really that bad, you can always request a transfer..."

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"He called my wand a stick!" Harry continued. "Repeatedly!"

[smartestone]

"Well, that is what it looks like to people who don't know any better," she said sensibly. "I've had several people say that to me."

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"I told him what it was called and he kept calling it a stick. And then he took my glasses. Just because I dropped a boot on his head."

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"...Why did you drop a boot on his head?"

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"He asked me to."

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"And you did it?" she asked. "Harry... I don't know how to say this, but maybe you just shouldn't drop footwear on people, even if they ask."

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"What, I wasn't supposed to drop it, even though he asked?" Harry grumbled.

[smartestone]

"If I asked you to drop a boot on my head, would you?"

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"I would wonder about you, but yes," Harry said. It was sadly probably true.

[smartestone]

Hermione stared at him.

"Don't drop boots on people's heads!"

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"Even if you asked?" Harry replied. "What if you said 'Harry, I refuse to tell you why, but please drop a boot on my head.' What then?"

[smartestone]

"Then I am probably possessed, or under some sort of Fandom spell, and it would be good of you to lock me away somewhere before I could do any shopping. Don't ask."

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

Harry had to ask.

"Shopping?"

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"What did I just say?"

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"I kind of have to ask," Harry replied. "As your concerned friend."

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Hermione shook her head vigorously. "No. I can't say. It's too terrible. We don't talk about it here."

She didn't talk about it. She prayed no one else did. Ever.

[he-lived.livejournal.com]

"Is this like saying Voldemort's name?" Harry wondered.

[smartestone]

"If that will stop the questions about it, yes."